Friday, October 7, 2011

Any ALL fathers ... - The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Community

If this is a 'boys only thread', just ignore me...

but...I find that this stuff is so heavy that we need to have a good cry every once in a while just because (don't want to get emotionally constipated, right?)

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Knowing how to respond and best support my son was difficult in the beginning, but dealing with it has been something that I think we have done really well, and I am proud of my husband and myself, and I am simply in awe of my son.? One thing, for me personally (and I know this is controversial), I don't try to hide it all from my son.? He was turning 2 when diagnosed, and I think they are still trying to learn how to respond/communicate.? Within reason, I would share that I was scared or sad.? To me, it shows him that it is okay to feel that way.? Quickly followed, however, with how I overcome being scared or sad.

Seriously, up to that point, our children get sad or scared about things that we tell them, "oh don't worry... there's no monster in your closet."? Guess what?? They have a very valid reason to be scared now.? They have no way of understanding "yes, this is scary, and this is how we are going to get through this...together."

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And... just small pet peeve...re: "it's all going to be okay."? Oooh... inside, I felt like screaming, "NO!? No... it's not all going to be okay.? My child has cancer.? My world has been turned upside down.? It's not just going to be okay. Okay?"?

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So, rather than try to comfort you with "it's all going to be okay," let me rather say: You will find the strength to get through this.? You will find strength you didn't even know you had, in ways you didn't even know could possibly exist.? And I bet that your family will make you more proud than you ever thought possible.?

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Also, once everything settles down a little bit, please please find some time to have a family night, and then also to have a date night.? About a year ago, I remember looking at my husband and thinking, "I miss you so much."? We were not good about making time for us... we felt too guilty (but that of course is complete and utter rubbish... you need to have that time together).

Source: http://community.lls.org/thread/11937

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